Jessica is back today with her unique take on parenting as a mother of four and I’m so happy – I always connect with her posts.
And, really, I feel like the name of this one could easily be “YES – Three Kids is Crazy” or “YES – {Fill-in-the-Blank} Kids is Crazy” because life as a parent is just general craziness.
But I always love to hear about other parents’ perspectives, and I find the experiences of parents who have more kids than the three I have to be especially fascinating.
Before we get to that, though, don’t forget that you can submit your own parenting story to MPMK here! (More details here.)
A few things happened recently that really drove home the idea that four kids is a crazy number of kids to have all in one house. First, I was plugging in a password on some online account. It took me a few tries, but then I remembered that I used to shop at this particular place quite a bit a few years ago. I used my old standby password at the time – a combination of our two oldest kids’ names. Bingo.
And then I imagined for a minute what life would be like if we had stopped there, a family of four.
Here we’d be with a first and third-grader. Two kids capable of dressing themselves and showering and brushing their own teeth. Two kids who actually go to bed when it’s bedtime, who go off to hang out with friends and occasionally have sleepovers. Two mostly capable kids who are super easy to parent, even with their busy little schedules.
But then my three year old called me from the bathroom, informing me loudly that he had pooped and wiped his bottom all by himself. So suddenly I had that to go deal with that, and no time to indulge in this strange fantasy.
Then two of the four had a sleepover at their grandparents’ house, leaving us with our oldest and the baby. The four of us walked to a little coffee house the next morning for breakfast, and we didn’t even need to sit outside. We sat at a cozy table together and smiled at strangers who complimented our little (!) family.
We watched as a woman came in with three kids under ten, tops. They stampeded for the counter, jostling each other for space. I could see their mother’s patience slipping a bit as the kids hemmed and hawed over their orders, with one of them changing his mind at least twice and the smallest loudly voicing his need for the bathroom. Finally, she was able to herd everyone outside.
My husband raised an eyebrow at me. “Is it me, or does two kids seem so… easy?”
Um, yeah.
A day or so later, I learned that not one but two friends had gone and got themselves knocked up, both with their fourth babies (huzzah!). Both of them wasted no time asking me a version of the same question, something we seem to get asked a lot.
“Is four kids totally crazy?”
And see, there’s just way to sugarcoat this because YES. It is crazy.
I could come up with some analogy here about trying to corral cats or something, but I don’t even have to try. Just picture going to the grocery store with four kids under eight. Even better, picture four kids in that little coffeehouse, and me the sweaty mom trying to place orders and get water and grab a highchair and hustle everyone outside to the patio seating before I lose someone or they manage to knock something over. Imagine booking an entire row of seats on a plane – and then imagine paying for them all.
And the laundry. Oh man, imagine the laundry – and then multiply whatever you’re picturing by ten.
Four kids is nuts! Crazy expensive, crazy logistically, just complete chaos at times.
But you know what? That’s how it is today, right now, with an almost one year old and an almost four year old and a six year old and an eight year old.
And the thing is, none of it lasts.
One day, all four of them will be capable of pouring their own cereal and putting away their own laundry (I actually cannot wait for that day, if I’m being honest).
One day, I’ll have the house to myself for hours on end.
One day, going to that coffeehouse with all of our kids will be a treat, because they’ll all be so busy with their own lives.
Four kids means we have a very full house, no question. There’s lots of laughter and happiness and, okay, shouting and arguing and energy around here. Yeah, it’s crazy.
But it’s also kind of amazing.