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How long do you wait?

Midweek Musing: How Long Do You Wait to Tell People You’re Pregnant?

So, guess what… Ok, based on the photo above that my hubby snapped on his phone last night, I’m guessing you’ve already figured it out – I’m preggers!  We’ll be welcoming baby #3 to the family in late March with makes me 16 weeks along. I’ve never been pregnant while blogging before so, while I knew I’d definitely be sharing with you all, I wasn’t sure how far along in the process to wait.

Which leads me to ask – how long do you usually wait until telling people you’re pregnant? It’s been a little different for me with each child.  The first time around I was working and didn’t want the word to get out to my boss as the plan was to stop working and move across the country to be closer to family when I was around 6 months along. But we still told family really early – we always do.

With both S and this one we didn’t wait long at all to tell close friends either. Basically if I see you in person when I’m pregnant, I’ll probably tell you.  Not because I’m dying to tell the whole world, but because I get hit with some pretty nasty morning (and evening) sickness for the first 16 to 20 weeks and I want people to know there’s a reason I’m not much fun.

And I’m telling the world now because at this point there’s really no hiding it. I’ve found you start showing a lot sooner the third time around (imagine that). So how about you…

Question of the Day

How long did you wait to tell people you were pregnant?

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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Trish October 9, 2013 at 12:13 am

I waited three months, give or take a few days. And we literally did not tell anyone about it. There were several people I didn’t want it to get out to too soon and I know a lot of big mouths ;-) No one could believe we managed to keep it a secret!

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Becky October 9, 2013 at 7:52 am

Congratulations! 16 weeks has always been the magic number for me too. Enjoy – three is a blast!
xo, Becky

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Julie October 9, 2013 at 9:18 am

We are welcoming our third the end of January and this time around was definitely different. Our first time we waited till 12 weeks because I also was working. The second time we told everyone we could because my son was only 9 months old. This time we suffered two miscarriages within 2 months of each other and shortly after found out we were pregnant again. We actually waited till 20 weeks to tell anyone. My parents knew and so did my in laws but we didn’t share with anyone else. I currently 6 months and things are going picture perfect! Congrats on the pregnancy! I love your blog and can’t wait to see what you have to say in the future!

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Karah October 9, 2013 at 12:56 pm

Congratulations! Julies experience sounds similar to our experience. With our first, we waited until that 12 week mark and everything sailed along picture perfect. We assumed history would repeat itself in future pregnancies, but we also experienced two miscarriages– both around the week 11 mark. We had not told anyone about the pregnancy when we experienced the first miscarriage, which made talking about it that much more difficult. With the second miscarriage, we told people around the 8 week mark (just close friends and family)– with the hopes of good vibes being sent our way. When we lost that baby around week 11, it was devastating but nice to be able to lean on people who already knew we were expecting. I’m not sure I’m ready to try again after the two consecutive losses, and now, getting to that magic 12-15 week mark seems like the biggest mountain to climb.

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JennL October 9, 2013 at 10:31 am

My husband and I were thrown off kilter by our pregnancy. It was a huge surprise and one that gave us a lot of mixed feelings. Plus, we were dealing with our parents’ job loss, house loss, and cancer battles – we were just overwhelmed. So we kept the news to ourselves during the first trimester and I ended up sharing the news at Christmastime: first, at work (where people had guessed since I was refusing wine) and then with family and friends (the moms almost did cartwheels).

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Margret October 9, 2013 at 11:07 am

I Instagramed a pic of the wee stick from the pregnancy test before I walked down the street to my husband’s office and told him. He Facebooked it as soon as I left. I didn’t have many/any Instagram followers so knew that wasn’t going to be an issue, but my sister didn’t talk to me for a week for finding out on FB. We were 5 weeks along.

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Margret October 9, 2013 at 11:08 am

Oh, and congratulations!! Hope you’re feeling better.

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anne | flax & twine October 9, 2013 at 11:21 am

Congratulations Steph! So excited for you. Three kiddos is the best, I’m one, and have three ;). Wishing you the best for your pregnancy. And, yes, with the third, people pretty much knew right away!

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Amy@Let's Explore October 9, 2013 at 12:10 pm

Congrats to you! Hope you are nearing the end of the sickness phase…that part is no fun!

We’ll be welcoming baby #3 in just a few days! We told family pretty early on, and waited a little longer to tell others. But yes, with #3 it’s hard to keep it hidden. :)

Wishing you a healthy pregnancy!

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Deb October 9, 2013 at 1:38 pm

For my first two, we told our parents almost right away, and the rest of the family around 12 weeks. With our third, we waited until 13 weeks, but ended up losing that baby at 14 weeks. Sooooo, if we get pregnant a 4th time, I think I’ll wait the 16-20 weeks to make sure we’re in the clear. Congrats!

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Tara October 9, 2013 at 1:39 pm

Congrats! I’m 8 weeks along (and still in the feeling crappy club) with number 4 and not really telling the world yet as I suffered a MC this summer at around 8 weeks. I think 12 or 14 will be my magic number.

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Andrea October 9, 2013 at 1:43 pm

Congratulations!! I am 18 weeks, due mid March. With our first two, we told everyone at 12 weeks. With this one, because of my age, 41, and the big age gap, my boys are 8 and 10, we told only close family and friends and only recently started telling everyone else. Mainly only telling people now because it is rather obvious.

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Katie October 9, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Congratulations! I am due with our second at the end of January. With my first pregnancy we made the mistake of starting to tell most people right away because we were so excited, but then I miscarried at 6 weeks. I was devastated and it was so tough to have to keep talking about it over and over again with the people we had told. So, when I became pregnant for the second time with my son, we decided to only tell our immediate families and a few very close friends (ones that we would want the support from if I miscarried again) right away. However, I had to tell my boss and a few coworkers around 7 weeks because I had severe morning sickness. Everyone else we waited until right around 12 weeks once we had heard a strong heartbeat. A little over a year after my son was born I suffered an ectopic pregnancy. Again, few people knew (only those necessary). With this baby we told immediate family and a few close friends right away, and then I had to tell my boss at about 5 1/2 weeks because my severe morning sickness kicked in even earlier than it had with my son. We waited until about 11 weeks to tell everyone else, again after hearing a strong heartbeat (plus I had been closely monitored early on with ultrasounds and blood tests to make sure everything was fine). I feel your pain with the morning sickness! I will be 24 weeks tomorrow and still sick. It is awful, but a reassuring sign. Thank goodness for Zofran!

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Lisa October 9, 2013 at 2:59 pm

I’ve only been pregnant once and we were going to keep the news quiet for a long time, with the exception of our parents. When I had my first check up at 12 weeks I found out we were having twins, and from then on we just blurted it out to everyone. “Hi, I’m Lisa. We’re having twins.” We were so dumbfounded I think we were looking for reassurance from everyone that things would be ok… Which isn’t necessarily the reaction we got.

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Tonya Staab October 9, 2013 at 3:07 pm

Yay! Yay! Yay! Congratulations.

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Leslie October 9, 2013 at 3:29 pm

It was different with every pregnancy. We told people later and later with each child. With number 5 we didn’t tell anyone (besides the doctor) until we were 19 weeks along. Then we told our other kids as a Christmas suprise and they outed us to everyone else. I was actually hoping to keep it a secret until we had the gender ultrasound. almost made it. It was fun to keep it a secret so long and surprise people by telling them so much later.

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Krista October 9, 2013 at 5:52 pm

Congrats! That’s exciting news!

I’m also 16 weeks with our third, due the end of March, and have been debating about when to announce. We told our families pretty early because mine all live within 10 miles and I, too, get awful, terrible all-day-long sickness – there’s really no hiding it. We told my husband’s family around 7 weeks at a family reunion. We decided we’d tell early in person and risk having to report a loss later rather than telling over the phone, email or Facebook. It was fun to watch everyone’s faces. We haven’t announced it publicly yet though and I’m debating whether to wait til the anatomy scan at the end of the month or just go ahead. Although my mom has a big mouth and tells pretty much anyone she sees, so the actual number of people who don’t know is probably A LOT smaller than I think it is. Ugh, moms. =)

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Anika October 9, 2013 at 6:54 pm

Congratulations!!

We intended to wait until I was at least 12 weeks along, but we found out it was twins at 8 weeks and by 9 weeks I was starting to show a bit and I didn’t want my parents to guess I was pregnant before we told them, so we announced it at 9.5 weeks.

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Janelle October 10, 2013 at 12:50 am

I could never wait. I envy those who have the choice. With all three pregnancies, morning sickness laid me low from 6 weeks to the delivery room. My last pregnancy, the boob pain and nausea kicked in the afternoon after I peed on the stick. I couldn’t hide running to every trash can in the office long enough to wait for the first trimester to pass. It made my two miscarriages particularly sad because everyone knew.

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Sarah October 10, 2013 at 1:36 am

I’m weird. I’d seriously wait until the baby was born to make an announcement…if I could get away with it. For some reason I just don’t like telling people. If you see me in person on a regular basis, I wait until Im showing to fess up (I hid it for 6 months with my third!). If you live far away I’ll wait until I know what I’m having. My husband and I don’t even tell family or close friends until we can say, “We’re having a ______!” Like I said – weird. :)

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Sabrina October 21, 2013 at 11:26 pm

We are the same way! We like to know who we’re having before we announce it to anyone. It is so fun for my husband and I to relish in our own little secret. And our other kids can understand it better when they see a picture and here a name. This works for us because our extended families are at somewhat of a distance, and I don’t experience any sickness. Plus, I’m a bit overweight so a bit of a bump isn’t anything new!

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Lau133 October 10, 2013 at 11:42 am

With my first we told close friends and family within the first couple hours. We had been trying for 15 months and were so excited we couldnt keep it in. I told my boss and everyone else around the 12 week mark. Fortunately all went well. With my second pregnancy we again told close friends and family right away assuming it would go as well as the firs t pregnancy. Unfortunately we found at at my first u/s @ 8 weeks that the baby wasnt viable. It was difficult to remember that time everyone we had told so that we could tell them the bad news, but not sure that means we will do anything differently next time. I’m an open person and need people to talk to, even if the news is bad. Maybe next time I will wait until after my first u/s to tell anyone but family and best friends.

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Michelle October 10, 2013 at 3:18 pm

Congrats Steph! I always wait to tell people too. End of first trimester for family and close friends, around the 6 month mark for everyone else!

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Lynn October 10, 2013 at 10:38 pm

…you show even sooner with your 4th. ;) I am about 8.5 weeks pregnant with my fourth and while it’s not a secret, I don’t tell everyone. Mainly close family and co-workers at this point. And the only reason I tell co-workers so quickly is because I have a myriad of real fun things going on: nausea, dizziness, etc. They would figure it out, even if I didn’t say a thing.

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Josephine October 14, 2013 at 2:34 pm

We’ve always enjoyed the little secret of being pregnant (although we both share with 1 person fairly early) and then we wait until we are into the 2nd trimester (I also always get an early ultrasound so we have that proof when we share!) Although our family has endured some BIG changes recently! We are currently expecting our 4th (in 9 weeks!) and moved from one side of the country to another moved in with family, transitioned kids to a new school, etc and waited until we were established with a new Dr. before sharing the news which was close to 6 months! How I hid it for that long I’ll never know, but ill credit the recent weight loss that I’ve had as making it easier to hide ;) we are thrilled as are our families but this was by far the latest! (We typically share between 12-14 weeks, but pregnancy is also a piece of cake for me!!)

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Jessica October 23, 2013 at 11:31 pm

Congrats!! I’m also due with a baby in March! It’s baby number two for us. I wanted to wait to tell anyone (except for my mom) until I was at least 8 weeks, but with both pregnancies, there was some reason to tell a little bit earlier (scary, as I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks with my first pregnancy, a thousand years ago). We only tell family that early, but there are a lot of family to tell! We start slowly sharing the news with friends after 12 weeks. This time I waited to share on facebook (which is basically everyone except for family and close friends) until we knew the gender, which was about a week ago. I’m all for waiting until at least the second trimester, but I always want to share with my family early.

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