Image Credit: © Natesh Ramasamy | Why Am I in Such a Bad Mood? (text added) | CC by 2.0
I’m so very excited to introduce you to our newest contributor, Jessica, today. She is the mother of four (yes, four!) little ones and when I read this piece she wrote about her latest pregnancy, I just couldn’t help but beg her to come write for us.
Jessica will be stopping by every few weeks to share the good/bad/ugly/funny/painful/surprising/amazing/akward parts of parenthood with her own unique voice – I can’t wait!
Without further ado…
My five-year-old daughter broke my heart tonight. She was coloring in the other room as I made dinner, and she crept in clutching her picture. She was the picture of sadness, whispering and avoiding eye contact.
For my confident, expressive little girl – the one who bursts into loud renditions of her favorite Frozen songs in the backyard and has long, animated conversations with herself in the mirror – this is telling. Then again, she does have a dramatic streak.
“Mommy. This is how I’m feeling.”
I give my sauce a stir, move the baby from one side to the other and reach down to look at her picture.
I recognize her self portrait, the blue eyes and long hair. I note the tears she’s drawn down her face and the downturned mouth. She has given herself a lovely dress and long, curling eyelashes. And she has written, “No mor luv for Genevieve!” Twice.
“What is this, baby girl? How are you feeling?”
She ducks her head and mumbles, and I tilt up her chin to catch the words.
“I don’t deserve to be loved.”
I’m speechless for a few beats, mind scrambling, wondering where this is coming from, how she’s even able to articulate such a thought. She’s five. I fall over myself trying to answer, and it’s not very eloquent. Read More